I am.

And it makes me sad. I am trying to teach my son that we should not quit.

But I do it.

I am not a quitter at the obvious. I make goals and follow through. I set a goal to do a triathlon and in April 2010, I completed a sprint triathlon. I set a goal to complete 2 half marathons and on October 10, 2010 I completed my second half marathon. I received my Associate’s Degree. And now I’m about to complete law school.

What I have routinely quit on though: myself. I give up on what could quite possibly be the most important goal: my emotional healing.

And that’s why I’m sad.

I was going through my office yesterday and I found partial journal after partial journal. I have started so many self-help books, only to lose interest within a few chapters. I start journals when I’m feeling down and blue, with big words of commitment to myself and then when I’m feeling better the journal gets pushed into the back corners of some box never to be seen again.

It’s no wonder I keep going in circles. I just keep giving up on myself.

Do I feel like I’m not worth it? (I need to make myself believe I’m worth it.)

Do I feel like it will be too hard? (I know will be hard.)

I’ve spent the last year trying to get physically healthy. I still have more work to do in this area, but for the next year, I am going to focus on getting emotionally healthy. 52 weeks towards a healthier me.

I’m going to do a few things during these next 52 weeks to help me get emotionally healthy.

Journaling:

I’ve got a journal, and I am planning on keeping it with me all the time. It has blank (not lined) pages. I have decided that I am not going to structure what is going to go my journal. There are no rules. Maybe a structure will evolve. But maybe one won’t. I think that’s part of the beauty.

I started right away, and so far I’ve got a list of things I’m worried or concerned about and a list of positive things that someone has said (or typed) about or to me. I am writing down something each day that I did for myself, to show myself love.

I am also planning on going through all my old journals. I am not sure what I’m going to do, but I will condense, combine or toss. The goal is to move forward. If there is something helpful to my journey that can be gleaned from my old writings then I will use it. If not, away they go!

Self-help books:

I am going to commit to reading 4 self-help books in the next year. The first one is called The Power of Self-Coaching. The Five Essential Steps to Creating the Life you Want by Joseph J. Luciani, Ph.D.

I am also planning on reading Be Happy Without Being Perfect by Alice D. Domar, Ph.D., and Alice Lesch Kelly.

Build on what good I’m already doing!

I am going to continue on my healthy eating path and my life of being fit. I will find races to train for and I will push myself to new goals.

Remember I’m worth this hard work!

Remember to be kind to myself during the process!

I am going to do weekly check in posts and share what I’ve learned. If you are reading the same book as me, we could get a discussion going. I am also going to do a weekly challenge.

I am no quitter. It’s one of the things I pride myself on. & I’m all done quitting on me. I’m worth so much more than that.